Key points
As a parent, you know your child better than anyone else does. Your child’s teachers will want to get to know him too.
When you have a strong and respectful relationship with your child’s school and teachers, you’re in a good position to give them the information they need to help your child get the most out of his education. You and your child’s teachers can work together to support your child’s learning and wellbeing.
When everybody is working together in the best interests of your child, she’s likely to reap academic and social benefits, like:
You can build a parent-school relationship in several ways:
As well as everyday contact, you might also be able to learn more about the school through its annual report, school performances and social events – for example, barbecues, cultural or music events and school fairs. Schools might also hold parent seminars on topics like behaviour management, bullying and mental health.
Establishing a relationship with your child’s school is a two-way process. For example, you can ask the school and teachers for information or feedback. You can also share your child’s special events or achievements outside school.
Not all parents can be involved in school as much as they’d like, but you can still let your child know that school is important to your family. Talking about school with your child, being warm and friendly at school events, and being positive about the school and its staff sends the message that you value education and are interested in what’s happening for your child at school.
All parents will have a different relationship with their child’s school. This relationship isn’t just about direct contact with the school, but also includes relationships with other parents, your child’s friends and teachers. The parent-school relationship might change as your child gets older, or when things change at work or at home.
Parent-teacher interviews at primary school and parent-teacher interviews at secondary school are one of the main ways that many parents find out how their child’s education is going. Interviews can be a great way of getting all the important people – you, the teacher and your child – talking together.
By including your child, you’re helping him negotiate learning tasks and get involved in monitoring and reflecting on his achievements, progress and goals. If you need to discuss topics that aren’t appropriate for your child to hear, you could set up a meeting for another time.
You don’t have to wait for a parent-teacher interview, especially if you need to talk about something that affects your child’s wellbeing. For example, it’s important for the teacher and school to know if your child has a health condition, if you’re concerned about bullying, or if there has been a change in your family, like a death, separation or divorce.
There are often lots of opportunities to be involved in primary schools, because they tend to be smaller than secondary schools. You can get involved at your child’s primary school by:
Secondary schools are larger and more complex systems than most primary schools, and your child will probably have different teachers for different subjects. This can make it more difficult for parents, teachers and students to develop and maintain positive relationships.
Who do you talk to first?
The best way to start is finding out who your child’s home-room (or home-group, pastoral or form) teacher is. The home-room teacher is usually the person responsible for tracking your child’s overall progress at school, by monitoring your child’s attendance, behaviour and academic progress.
Knowing the year coordinator(s) and individual subject teachers is also important. Speaking to student wellbeing or support staff like counsellors or asking for a referral to an educational psychologist might help if you need extra support or expertise.
Attending school information nights can help you work out who in the school is responsible for different aspects of your child’s care and education.
If the school has a website, this is another way of keeping in touch with what’s going on at school. It might also let you directly email or message your child’s teachers.
Changing relationships as your child grows
Most parents will be familiar with the ‘you’re embarrassing me’ stage, even if their child hasn’t reached it yet.
Your child will start developing more independence, which might change the way you communicate with each other. These changes might also affect the way you communicate and connect with your child’s school. Your child might be able to take more responsibility for communicating with her teachers.
But you can still have a relationship with your child’s school that fits around your child’s changing social needs. Even if you have less physical involvement with the school, one of the best ways to continue helping your child is to create a supportive environment for education at home – an environment that values education.
This might involve simply talking about schoolwork together, discussing your child’s career plans and ambitions, or talking through the links between your child’s schoolwork and his future goals.
